Senior year… I HATE IT.

People say that living in the present moment is the only way you will have no regrets. As my senior year starts, I finally understand why I should have listened to them in the first place. Senior year of college used to feel like ages away, and now that it’s here, I have been in denial since it started.

Walking into freshman year at Southern New Hampshire University, I wasn’t happy to be there. SNHU wasn’t my first choice, but I didn’t really have much of a choice, since my plans of going on a gap year and travelling backfired with the pandemic. I had just survived COVID-19 high school where everything had been taken away from me. School looked like going to class twice a week, only seeing my friends who had last names that started with M-Z and taking baby steps back into the drama program that I had worked so hard to be a part of.

I wanted one more year. One year to catch up on everything I had lost. Instead, I had to jump into college where I was stuck in a dorm with new faces and names that intimidated me.

I never expected to end up loving the college atmosphere, the support from friends, roommates, and professors, and the opportunities SNHU had to offer. The National Student Exchange Program allowed me to travel to New York City and study at Queens College during my spring semester of sophomore year. I was infatuated by the big city and the unparalleled experience of culture and diversity that Queens has to offer.

I remember sophomore year feeling like I was in a dream. Every block had something new and exciting to look at or walk into. I give myself credit for embracing the unfamiliarity.

Now that I am back to the same city, same campus and same street as I was before, I feel myself craving that same shock that I had last time I was here. Sure, my anxiety has decreased since I know how to get places and I understand the hustle and bustle of the city, but I want that feeling of exhilaration and accomplishment. Society brings on these pressures to be confident in what you chose as a major, and if you aren’t ready to move into the work force, then the world is going to leave you behind.

This blog will document the highs and lows of every class, experience, connection, or event that falls into my lap. A portfolio that I will present to myself at the end of the year, to show myself how far I’ve come, and how I can use the knowledge I have acquired and make a career out of it. Who knows, we both might be surprised at the outcome.